My big little brother

Last night at midnight, I couldn't get to sleep, and I was fighting back tears. Nights are the hardest time for me because I can think about everything uninhibited by loud roommates or classmates, surrounded by thick, oppressive darkness.

I glanced at my phone and realized that despite what my mom (who is my best friend) says about me calling her anytime, she would not be happy to be woken up at midnight. I then dialed my wonderful Aunt Susan, who is four hours behind me in Hawaii, but I realized when I got her voice mail that she would have no service at her house. Lying in my bed, I finally texted my brother to ask if he was asleep, praying he'd still be up.

Five minutes later, he called me, despite having no minutes on his cell phone, and listened while I cried and told him all about my worries. And the first words out of his mouth were, "Would you like my roommate and I to come and give you a blessing?"

I smiled through my tears and told him, no, I would be fine, and then he brought me back to reality and concluded our conversation by telling me to go make something fattening and eat it (which I did not do).

My little brother is sometimes my big brother in many ways. He is taller than me, and has been for quite awhile. He is a hang-loose kind of guy, while I am a self-proclaimed control freak that can't let anybody help me. And he has always been wise beyond his years, which is especially rare in a 19-year-old.

I'm not saying he's perfect or that he always does the right thing. I'm not saying that I feel like I'm not able to do stuff by myself, because that's totally not true. What I am saying is that I love my brother and I'm not sure what I'm going to do when he leaves on his mission for two years. I can't call him at midnight when he's serving the Lord in a foreign country.

As I climbed into my bed and tried to get some sleep, I thought again about how grateful I am for a brother that answered my text message and was willing to use his priesthood to help me to calm down. Some people out there in the field, wherever my brother will be called to serve, will be even more grateful for that priesthood and for the good person that he is.