For some reason, people are always asking me if they can follow me around with a video camera. I'm not sure why this is, except that I am dramatic and make things 10 times more horrible than they really are. I used to make my roommates laugh really hard at the dinner table just telling them about the incredibly awkward things that happened to me in college.
But I am no longer in college, and a lot of the awkward moments that used to happen in class are in the past now. That doesn't stop me from encountering weird things at work, however. I thought I would share a typical work day with those of you who are DYING to know what unfortunate mishaps occur even when I'm away from BYU-Idaho and the surrounding area. :)
First, I set my alarm clock for a ridiculously early hour and never get up to it. This is a given. Sometimes, I get up at the last possible minute I can to get to work early -- and other times, I sleep in until the terrified shrieks of attacking geese and ducks jolts me out of bed. This is not a joke. I live in a condo where geese, ducks and quails hang out in the parking lot. Who needs visitors when you have waterfowl just feet away?
Anyway, I quickly shower, dress and grab something out of the fridge for breakfast because I have once again slept too long to make actually cooking something a viable option. Lunch is also from the fridge or the freezer so I am no longer tempted to blow my money on a lobster pasta that consistently makes me sick.
I hop in my car, which used to overheat nearly every day and scare me half to death, blare a CD or switch from radio station to radio station (I have yet to find a good morning show -- one of the hosts sounds like she's trying SO hard to sound like an out-of-towner that she blended two annoying vocal idiosyncrasies into one), and get to work far more quickly than I expected.
This is where the first weird part of my day occurs. Almost every day, I am in a war with the shuttle driver (which is a white 12-passenger van that picks up Overstock employees). For some reason, the shuttle driver seems to think that I will get into the van, even though I NEVER have before. So he parks in the middle of the first parking garage lane, making it impossible for you to drive around him, daring you to try to WALK to the building. I deftly drive into the next lane, park my car, and wave the man off so he can wait for someone else who actually WANTS to ride in his shuttle. I am sure he is a very nice man -- but if I can make it to work faster by walking, I'm going to do that.
Once I get to the doors, I either realize I forgot my security badge and have to wait around for someone to let me in, or I go right in and begin eight hours of writing about toothpaste, jewelry or whatever else comes up for the day. Eventually, it is necessary for me to walk to the fridge to grab my lunch, so I walk as quickly as possible to avoid interrupting the team that is continually having "hall discussions" right in my path to food. And, since I get hungry quite frequently at Overstock, I feel that I am constantly walking past that group of people. It is embarrassing, especially on days when I have forgotten my badge and have to hope someone will let a poor, hungry fool back into the office.
After my 8 hours are up, I walk outside, into fresh air and.... the shuttle. This time, I take it, because the driver, Curtis, is really nice and once helped me add coolant to my old car when it overheated (and he is not the driver in the morning, by the way). Curtis is always in a fantastic mood (which is odd for someone who drives a white van back and forth all day long) and he always remembers what my car looks like and makes sure I get in it before he races off to pick up more tired employees. Today, he reminded me that I saved four minutes by taking the shuttle, and he asked me what I was going to do with my extra four minutes.
What would you do with an extra four minutes? You probably wouldn't read a super long blog post like this one again, would you. :) But for all of you who were curious, I hope your needs have been met. I guess awkward moments never really go away, at least not for me.