Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The five worst campus jobs

Looking for employment at BYU–Idaho? Why not? Who wouldn't want to answer phones, clean toilets at 4 a.m. or plant ferns in the frigid Rexburg weather? Here is my list of jobs to avoid while attending this school, but who knows? They might be up your alley.

1. A food services employee who pushes catering carts between the MC, the library and the Taylor Building. In what world would that job ever be fun? With my luck, I would hit a bump in the sidewalk and salads would go flying. Or, even worse, I'd probably end up beaning a general authority with a grapefruit on devotional day.

2. A body model in the art department. Maybe it's because of my weak ankles, or perhaps because the idea of sitting in my skibbies in front of a bunch of artists gives me the shivers. Whatever the case, no Picasso is going to be sketching my nose anytime soon. Kudos to you if you help those artists become the Rembrandts they're destined to be — I'm just happy to leave that $7 an hour to somebody else.

3. Answering phones at the MC Info Desk. Since I've called this desk before with the most random questions about finding teachers or events, I know I'd staple my fingers for fun after a few hours of fielding phone calls or pointing out directions to bewildered students (Just walk up those stairs, no, not those stairs, the other ones, and then turn left...oh, please don't start crying) and community members who just haven't been to BYU-Idaho in awhile. The only redeeming quality about this desk is the candy jar. Actually, no. I think they got rid of that now.

4. Security! Securrutee... I know, I know. They're the only employees who actually get full blue uniforms and walk around like they own the place. It probably makes them feel a little bit like CIA agents or something. But really, looking at a screen in the library for hours and occasionally kicking students out of the Scroll office at 11:30 (I'm not bitter) could not possibly be that thrilling. And honestly, it's got to get a little tiring to glare at latecomers to concerts and make them feel as guilty as possible for jeopardizing the safety of the university. I mean, I'm just saying.

5. Repairing computer problems at the underground desk. After my poor little Mac spent the day at the computer help desk last week, I realized that I'm grateful I know very little about electronics — because otherwise, I would have to help poor, unsuspecting students who have corrupted their hard drives or ruined their speakers to calm down and realize that the world will go on. I just don't know how I could feel good inside.

There you have it. Sorry if I burst your bubble about BYU-Idaho employment — but hey, I'm graduating, so I won't be doing any of these jobs. Real world, here I come.


  1. This is hilarious. And possibly a column for the opinion section?? :D

  2. Your graduating??? WoW, that's got to feel good. I want my turn one of these days.


Thanks for sharing your beautiful thoughts! I love reading them.