Things Bryson, Lindsay and Veronica learned during a road trip to SLC

16. Veronica goes into “Mormon 500” mode when driving in Salt Lake. Also, it is not safe to speed on slick freeways.

15. A sale at Anthropologie is not really a sale.

14. Lindsay does not know her way around Provo, despite what she may have said. And there are not two University Malls in Provo.

13. Some LDSBC goers have not realized that it is, in fact, a two-year school. And no, you can’t have “a bachelor’s in your associate’s.”

12. Lindsay can eat an entire Café Rio salad, a Tres Leches dessert, and a Lion House roll — all in a two-hour period.

11. Veronica and Bryson know an odd black man named Alfonso who washes dishes at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building.

10. Lyric is not only the name of a line in a song or poem, but of a beautiful little girl with awesome curly hair.

9. The words “skrrr” and “errr” are two very different words, especially when used by Veronica and Bryson to describe a car screeching to a halt. Actually, they’re not words.

8. Everyone in Salt Lake that’s weird is “off-the-chain” or “ballin’.” And Lindsay is totally gonna get boxed.

7. We need to holla at deaf boys.

6. Don’t be alarmed on University Ave. in Provo when it sounds like you’ve lost your rubber. No, your tires are not flat.

5. It is not OK to make out with your girlfriend at church. Nor is it OK to write stories about princesses and heroes named Carr during sacrament meeting.

4. If a man with a head lamp, a flashlight and a notebook stops behind your car and starts writing stuff down, he is simply recording your license plates for “visiting records,” despite the three people still sitting in the car.

3. Veronica and Bryson DO NOT like souvlaki.

2. No one at the Friend magazine stays at work on a holiday until 2:30 p.m. And the Joseph Smith Memorial Building has complimentary fruit tarts.

1. You can have a “fakecation.” And we’re going to need one after this trip.