marry me...but please give up your life first

I'm probably going to make some people mad with this post (look at me, actually thinking people are reading my blog), but I'm going to say it anyway. Most of the girls I have known who are engaged are self-absorbed, scatterbrained, and snotty. I've lived with quite a few engaged girls, and it seems that the moment there's a rock on the girl's finger, it's like her life has instantly zoned into MarriageandLove tunnel. Suddenly there's no time to clean, no time to actually speak to or get to know your roommates, no time to do anything but spend hours with a fiance or planning every minute detail of the looming wedding.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the phrase "I don't have time?" Well, I do. It means absolutely nothing. As my dad likes to tell me, each person has 24 hours in the day, and it's up to us to figure out what we're going to do with those hours. Saying you don't have time to do something is essentially saying that you don't feel like devoting any time to doing homework, working out, eating something besides doughnuts and chocolate milk. And I find it physically impossible that engaged women would suddenly find themselves in a situation with a shortage of hours in the day. Nope. Not possible.

Before you start to rip my head off, think about this logically. Do you really think that if you don't have time to clean the filthy bathroom now that you'll really have time once you're married? Is there something special about the wedding day that suddenly — BING — grants you more hours, like the time device Hermione uses in Harry Potter? Hardly. Suddenly, you've got another person to cook for and clean up after in addition to homework, church responsibilities, and (heaven forbid you forgo this one) a social life.

So if you're out there and engaged, don't complain about your lack of time because you're too busy choosing between taupe and lavender ribbons for the wedding invitations. We're all really happy for you. Really, we are. We can't wait for you to start a new life with the person you love for time and all eternity. Just don't blow off everyone and everything else while you're getting to that point.