see

I have eyes to see, and so does everyone that I know. But how many times do we see without really seeing? How many times do we casually ask the question, "How are you doing?" without seeing the dried tears in a friend's eyes or the loneliness that is seeping out like a deflating balloon?

I sometimes feel like I'm invisible, like people see me but don't really see me. How can they? They have their own problems to worry about, like bills and family and work. They're not looking for another struggling person to take on. They've got a heavy load already. And I don't blame them.

Have you ever been kissed absently? I have. I've wondered how a kiss can mean so much to me and just be another touch, another part of the day, to someone else. I wonder how someone can dismiss a girl for being "high maintenance" but forget that all cars, even the nicest and smoothest-running ones, need a little oil every now and then. I wonder how you can get glasses and contacts to correct your vision, but you can look someone in the face and completely overlook the fact that they were once beautiful and special to you.

I don't wear contacts. I don't wear glasses. I don't need them. But I sometimes wish I had them to see things just a little more clearly at times. I wish I could slip on glasses and see the future. I wish I could see six months from now, and who I've become. But in that way, I'm blind as a bat.

The light is coming. I'm just in the tunnel right now.