Back to work

Today, after three months of snuggling my sweet babies, I returned to work. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't anticipate all the emotions I would feel. Andrew and I pushed them in the stroller last night as we window shopped, and I kept looking at their little faces and feeling such overwhelming love for them. They are both becoming so alert and recognizing our faces and voices, but they're also still so tiny and want to be snuggled all the time.

Andrew fed them last night so I could get a little extra rest, and I cried when I saw them all snuggled up. Even though I knew I'd be working from home in the morning (and on Tuesdays and Thursdays from now on), I couldn't help feeling a bit like it was the ending of an era. I wouldn't be there for every smile. I couldn't comfort them every time they cried. I wouldn't be able to snuggle them after feeding them in the afternoons.

Then Andrew, who is always much wiser than me, reminded me that we'll both have the evenings to feed our babies, to hold them, to watch them smile and laugh and grow. We'll have Saturdays and Sundays and vacations with them. And occasionally, when they're sick, we'll have weekdays to snuggle them and revel in their tiny hands and feet.

I look forward to work life and making a difference there, and I also look forward to my new life as a mother, making a difference to my sweet babies. We can do this.

Photo by Valery Bunnell